Thursday 22 March 2012

Into the World

It is a joy to follow my daughter's blog. She is in Nairobi. As Mandy and I learnt so much in India, so Becky is learning much. Now I know something of why those who visit the church abroad are so touched by the wider church.

Into the World: Days 4 & 5
 The past few days have been incredibl...
: Days 4 & 5 The past few days have been incredible and I have really begun to adjust to the Kenyan lifestyle, including having spiced blac...

Sunday 18 March 2012

Marriage on Mothering Sunday


Jesus said, we are to be as salt, and light. So we should not be surprised when things in the world around are not as we would wish.

In India I came across Hindu 'gods' as I wandered down the street. But Christians share the good news that God is far more wonderful than any statue can suggest.

In the UK, the wider world is unsure what to do about relationships between man and woman. There is huge confusion.

Here too we have good news to share.

Down the years Jews, and building on their tradition, Christians, have discovered what we call Christian Marriage - faithful, life-long commitment between a man and a woman. This has grown out our understanding of who God is and his purposes for our lives. Indeed, Jesus went out of his way to bless such a relationship (John 2).

As we have told ourselves the stories about marriage and faithfulness (eg Genesis 1-3, and indeed much of the book, etc.) we have come to see how it expresses something of the very nature of God, how it expresses God's love for us all (Ephesians 5), how it anticipates heaven (Revelation 21:2), and how it can provide a place of security and love for children to grow up. We might say that it is a building block of society.

As with jokes, the old stories are often the best ones. So today we can continue to tell these stories to the world around. And lest it be thought that we are merely nostalgic, let us also live out the stories in the specialness of married life: the security, protection and joy of sacrificial love shared for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse…

We cannot and should not impose our will (that would be to deny the democratic freedoms that Christianity has helped forge) – but we can and should point to and live out the ways that are best, warning of the alternatives.

Deep in the heart of many, and perhaps most, around us there is a longing for the deeper spiritual values. Let us not lose our nerve. Let us share the good news, though let us do so in ways that are gracious and winsome.

And even as government loses its way, Ian Duncan Smith (Work & Pensions Secretary) has spoken of how the birth mother and father provide the best environment for children to grow up in.

Society adopted Christian marriage because it wanted to. Let us make society jealous again by the stories we tell, and the lives we live. Vive la difference!

Christian marriage is distinctive because it draws together the greatest diversity of relationship (man and woman), in the greatest sacrifice (life-long love) for the greater good of society (a foundational institutional). It is also in general the greatest place for children to be nurtured by their birth parents, and it recognises the unique role of a mother in child-rearing. That is (some of) why our language and laws should afford it a special place in society.

And let me add that those who are single have an even more wonderful calling, for their life is in the steps of Christ!



Tuesday 6 March 2012

Marriage

David Cameron supports gay marriage for the UK. Thousands have signed a petition opposing his views. It has sparked a national debate. It is one that the Christian will have a view on, not because it would be forced on churches (that is not being suggested), but because a Christian's morality is based on what is best for society not just a matter of personal opinion.

Back to the main issue. Marriage is about life-long commitment. Hence why not gay marriage? It seems an open and shut case.

The problem is that marriage is not first of all about something I choose to do. It is something offered to me as a gift. It is a gift of society; it is for the Christian, and many of other faith traditions, a gift from God. Part, a key part, of that gift is the very humanity we share.

Marriage is valued as something that is valuable to society. It is a place of mutual support, it provides security for children, it is a place of education, values are secured for the future. These and other reasons are why society recognises marriage and gives it privileges above other relationships.

In short, it is a key foundation for society.

But why should we not also recognise gay marriage? After all, it can embody much of what I have outlined.

First I would want to say that whatever the rights and wrongs of gay marriage, it is different, and it is appropriate that our language and laws recognise this.

How is it different? For me the key difference lies in the complimentary of the sexes. The essential difference between male and female. This roots in nature itself 'otherness'. "Boy meets girl", woman marries man, the battle of the sexes, the environment a child grows up: at every stage the fact that others are fundamentally different is forced upon us at every angle.

The importance of this cannot be over-stressed. It is fundamental to a morality of love, I believe. Of course, gay couples can express love (sacrificial love) as much as anyone, but that morality has been transmitted by society as a whole. But we are talking about undermining the foundation of that morality.

I could argue this from the fact that God made us this way. I believe that, but it would not cut much ice in public debate. I could argue it from Man and Woman together being made in the image of God, or Christian marriage being symbolic of Christ's relationship withnthe church. Again, I believe these things, but the need is to explain, not to assert.

We have recently been following the story of Abraham in our church studies. Key insights of the story are that God is very concerned about sexual relationships (sex can either reinforce or undermine faithfulness) and that he is very concerned about our children.

Children and marriage are intimately linked and need to be so. Commitment is not enough. We are all frail. We are all made of flesh and blood. Ideally, children should be biologically related to their parents.

(In saying this, I am not undervaluing adoption etc. There are adopting parents who give greater love than good biological parents.)

But the biology of parenthood enables a physical bonding that is not otherwise possible. 'Blood is thicker than water'.

This all emphasises that there is something very special when a couple decide to have children and bring them up together. This is what the name 'marriage' recognises. We change it at our peril.