'Joy itself, considered simply as an event in my own mind, turned out to be of no value at all. All the value lay in that of which joy was the desiring. And that object, quite clearly, was no state of my own mind or body at all... I had tried everything in my own mind and body... Last of all I had asked if Joy itself was what I wanted... Inexorably Joy proclaimed, "You want - I myself am your want of - something other, outside, not you or any state of you."'
I realise how much in my life I desire (and this is true of decades) well-being in itself, and perhaps for itself. There are so often fears in the thought of surrendering to Christ because I fear that I will thereby give up what will bring me well-being. But this is the lie of the evil one. In the moment of surrender, I am yielding to the one who is the ultimate "object" of our deep desires for joy, for he is the source of all well-being, the creator of all. As Charles de Foucauld says, All that has ever charmed my eyes in this world is but the poorest, the humblest reflection of your infinite beauty.
These thoughts are taking me towards Jonathan Edwards...
No comments:
Post a Comment