On Retreat

Am on retreat. As before, when I have set time aside, it seems that God is here already (which of course he is!). The books I slightly randomly decided to pick up (ones that related to spirituality rather than 'work') leading me down a particular path.

One is Bill Johnson's  Face to Face with God (p18f), which struck me because at the moment I am reflecting on Psalm 139 which includes from a different perspective the ideas that follow (and which nicely link into 1 Peter 2 on which I am preaching on Sunday in the context of Bishop Stephen's Transforming Presence.)

'First, we must realise that seeking the presence of God is not about trying to get God to do something. He's already given us the Holy Spirit without measure...
'Another foundational revelation about the presence of God is that God actually holds all things together.' He refers to Colossians 1:17.
'A more profound truth is that God has come to live in each person who receives Jesus Christ through his work on the cross...
'We progress to a deeper truth when we learn that whenever there are two or three people gathered in His name, He is there in their midst...
'David discovered a wonderful and even deeper truth that adds to this revelation of increasing degrees of His presence. he said , "You... are enthroned upon the praises of Israel" (Psalms 22:3). His throne is an even greater measure of His presence.'
I'm not sure I like the sense of progression. My sense is that any one contains the others within it. But it is perhaps helpful if seen as a journey WE progress in.
That be as it may, today I am learning verse 4 of Ps 139:

Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely

Later, Bill Johnson speaks of seeking God. This too rings a chime with me. I arrived on retreat with a certain passivity towards the tasks I am involved in - passively committing them to God while energetically I get on with them. The more energetic - (and I enjoy energetic) - the less I feel able to 'shape' what I am involved in, which is not helpful.

Then on Monday in the midst of working hard I had a real sense of calling out to God - in effect that I would know his power. I was deeply aware if my weakness and ineffectiveness. So anything which has to do with 'seeking God' is going to catch my eye, as an answer to that prayer.

Bill Johnson speaks of 'seeking God' in various ways (chapter 6):

- resting in the Lord (Psalm 37:7)
He suggest that as well as meaning, be still in the Lord, it can also mean 'take a leisure walk'. That is what I do as part of my devotions each day. He links this to the thought of how Adam was with God in the Garden of Eden. Thus any obstacle is overcome - all is provided for in salvation. And this I think is strongly present in my spirituality. He gives the example of Mary and Martha: 'To say that we need Marys and Marthas is to miss the point entirely... Mary wasn't a non-worker. Rather she was beginning to be like her master, who only did what He saw the Father do.

- then he speaks of 'waiting patiently for the Lord. We tend to define patience as a sort of passivity. But in the Bible the Hebrew word is used of waiting 4 times, but of 'writhing in pain, as in childbirth', or 'whirling in the air in dance', 49 times. Now I probably need to do work on the Hebrew, as definitions are tricky. But there is at least food for thought here. There is an intensity about such waiting.

- finally he notes that in Psalm 37:9, waiting means 'to lie in wait', as in setting up an ambush. There is thus a sense of looking eagerly for him. This is something I am not so good at. I need to learn from the woman who reached out to touch Jesus' hem (Matthew 9.21).

And with the thought that perhaps that is exactly what I decided to do by coming on retreat, I have a sense that perhaps in this too God is at work in me before I knew it (which of course he is.)

Synod voting

Was so hopeful yesterday and so sad at the vote. I believe the scriptures are with those longing for women bishops. I hear this in Paul himself - in the sense of relief he has in turning from 'in culture' to 'in Christ' as it were in 1 Corinthians 11: 11.
We are now experiencing the cruciformity I wrote of in the last blog. Good Friday is very bleak, verty painful, very dark.  But it is not to lessen the awfulness by saying that resurrection comes in Easter Sunday. That is the point of resurrection - it surprises, comes from nowhere, and doesn't look like we anticipate.
I'm not over-bothered by how this is viewed in the wider world (though there are consequences.) I give thanks that I am part of God's church where we can struggle with these issues. And I believe that God is bigger than us all - the God who leads us all into cruciformly.

Quote of the Day - Cruciformity

I so enjoy Michael J Gorman's, Cruciformity. He presents an exegesis and spirituality that makes sense of Paul's writings. It brings together but steps beyond the normal approaches both in theological terms and in day to day spirituality. With regard to those passages that I have always we missed something (eg Phil 2:5), I go 'ahahhh!' ("Have this mindset in your community, which is indeed a community in Christ … ")

Today I have enjoyed p 48f:
'Cruciformity... is a term more appropriate for what has often been referred to as the "imitation" of Christ. Cruciformity is an ongoing pattern of living in Christ as of dying with him that produces a Christ like (cruciform) person...
'[C]ruciformity cannot be attributed to human effort. There is a power at work within him and within his communities that somehow... produces Christ-like qualities. This power enables the exalted crucified Christ to take shape in and among those who belong to him and live in him. It enables the narrative of the cross to be retold and relived. This power is, for Paul, the Spirit of God.'

P.57: '[F]or Paul the Spirit is the Spirit of cruciformity.'

At p 56, quoting Robert Tannehill: 'the Spirit has an active killing function.' (Italics in original)
P 55 '[T]he Spirit powerfully brings life out of sin and death.'

This helpfully links in my heart to Robert Farrer Capon's approach to the parables in his writings, and hence helps me draw together various strands of the New Testament.

Note that this is not just the experience of one person, such as Paul. It 'is the defining characteristic of the Spirit-filled community as a whole...' '[T]he Spirit dwells in our midst, not just in our hearts. The Spirit of cruciformity is the Spirit of Christian community, and it is by means of cruciformity that the Spirit produces unity. That is the explicit or implicit foundation of every call to unity found in the Pauline epistles.' (p.61) Gorman then gives the example of Philippians 2:1-11, 'in which the cruciform Lord Christ is set forth in narrative as the paradigm of the Spirit's activity in the Philippian church.' (p61f)

Sabbath Keeping

In his memoir, The Pastor, Eugene Peterson, who writes the only really good material I have ever read or come across, about Christian pastoral work as a whole, describes Holy Saturday through to the Sabbath Keeping of Easter Day as 'Staying in touch with people in despair, knowing them by name, and waiting for resurrection.'
He has just written of the Pastor's "work" assignment as paying more attention to what God does than I do, and then guiding others to find those daily, weekly, yearly rhythms that help get this awareness into our bones. And part of the awareness is the waiting of Holy Saturday.
This is to do with being alongside people in heir waiting. It is the 'Jesus wept' of pastoral ministry, the phase than spoke to me in the recent fire of Barn Mead.
Eugene Peterson learnt his lesson of Holy Saturday for the whole of ministry. Much of my ministry has to do with waiting. This gives me a Biblical context, at the heart of the Easter Story.
And i I must revisit what Isaiah says about Sabbaths. Isaiah 58:3 is relevant here. I must explore further this as an understanding of the Sabbath. Perhaps this has to do with Sabbaths as well as Saturdays, for the Sabbath of Sabbaths (Leviticus 16:29-31) is to do with fasting.

Isaiah 58:
6 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Interesting sign in Stratford upon Avon

Prayers following the Barn Mead fire in Harlow

In this last week great tragedy and grief has struck our town.

How do we respond?

We respond as God did. God in Christ came amongst us at the first Christmas. As a grown man, he went to the tomb of a friend, and we read ‘Jesus wept’.

Weeping is not all Christ did; but that is where he began.

In weeping we share in our common humanity

As we allow ourselves to weep and to mourn

We know and see ‘the other’.

We begin to see them as God sees them.

We who spend so much time seeing ourselves

see the other,

and their need.

And that is why we pray and why we need to pray.

Prayer unlocks our hearts.

Prayer unlocks them to action

Prayer draws us to one another.

That is not all that prayer does. For as we are drawn to one another

God is enabled to work

in us and through us

and he hears our prayers

And the prayers we utter now were answered 2000 years ago

when Christ suffered with us

on the cross,

and arose from the dead

opening the door into God’s eternity

So today, we remember:

Sabah Usmani, and her children Sohaib, Muneeb, Rayyan, Hira and Maheen.

We pray for their father Abdul Shakoor

We remember and pray for all their neighbours, friends, family, and all involved this last week.

 It is right that we bring our grief and anguish to God

Psalm 6:6,7

I am weary with my moaning;
    every night I flood my bed with tears;
    I drench my couch with my weeping.

My eye wastes away because of grief;
    it grows weak because of all my foes.

It is right that we bring our questions to God.

One the cross Jesus cried: 

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me.

Lord, there are times when I am worn out with grief,

With no way forward and no way back.

Surely you are supposed to hear my cries,

And have mercy and save me.

But still my pillow becomes wet from my tears;

My body loses its appetite;

My mind falters;

My soul is weak to the point of exhaustion.

As trouble overwhelms me,

And panic sets in and I have nowhere to turn,

My only words are to you;

God give me strength. Amen

(Derek Browning)

[2 minutes silence]

Psalm 121: 1-2

I lift up my eyes to the hills – from whence will my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. O God our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble, we seek your comfort and your blessing for those who mourn the death of those they love, for all whose lives are torn apart by violence, for all the suffering people of the world; through Jesus Christ our Lord

Gracious God,

through your Son you have taught us

that nothing in life or in death

is able to separate us from your love.

Look in mercy on all to whom overwhelming sorrow has come.

Help all who are injured

Comfort all in anguish.

Strengthen the members of the emergency services -

the Fire Brigade, The Ambulance Service, the Police, PAH and Broomfield Hospitals,

and all who bring relief and comfort.

Console and protect Dr Shakoor

Give your light in darkness

to all who are near despair,

and assure them that you hold us all in your arms of love

through Jesus Christ our risen Lord.

Amen.

 A prayer scratched on the wall of a prison cell in Cologne during the Second World War

I believe in the sun,
even when it does not shine.
I believe in love,
even when I cannot feel it.
I believe in God,
even when he is silent.

Prepared for history?

Am reading Vaclav Havel's To the Castle and Back. Love this quote,
"I find people who are completely prepared for history rather suspect. They have a lot in common with the communists, who so arrogantly believe they have understood the world and therefore know perfectly how everything should be."
This speaks to my desire to understand everything and my frustration when I don't! Learning godliness means learning humility and learning not to know.