Wednesday, 21 November 2012

On Retreat

Am on retreat. As before, when I have set time aside, it seems that God is here already (which of course he is!). The books I slightly randomly decided to pick up (ones that related to spirituality rather than 'work') leading me down a particular path.

One is Bill Johnson's  Face to Face with God (p18f), which struck me because at the moment I am reflecting on Psalm 139 which includes from a different perspective the ideas that follow (and which nicely link into 1 Peter 2 on which I am preaching on Sunday in the context of Bishop Stephen's Transforming Presence.)

'First, we must realise that seeking the presence of God is not about trying to get God to do something. He's already given us the Holy Spirit without measure...
'Another foundational revelation about the presence of God is that God actually holds all things together.' He refers to Colossians 1:17.
'A more profound truth is that God has come to live in each person who receives Jesus Christ through his work on the cross...
'We progress to a deeper truth when we learn that whenever there are two or three people gathered in His name, He is there in their midst...
'David discovered a wonderful and even deeper truth that adds to this revelation of increasing degrees of His presence. he said , "You... are enthroned upon the praises of Israel" (Psalms 22:3). His throne is an even greater measure of His presence.'
I'm not sure I like the sense of progression. My sense is that any one contains the others within it. But it is perhaps helpful if seen as a journey WE progress in.
That be as it may, today I am learning verse 4 of Ps 139:

Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely

Later, Bill Johnson speaks of seeking God. This too rings a chime with me. I arrived on retreat with a certain passivity towards the tasks I am involved in - passively committing them to God while energetically I get on with them. The more energetic - (and I enjoy energetic) - the less I feel able to 'shape' what I am involved in, which is not helpful.

Then on Monday in the midst of working hard I had a real sense of calling out to God - in effect that I would know his power. I was deeply aware if my weakness and ineffectiveness. So anything which has to do with 'seeking God' is going to catch my eye, as an answer to that prayer.

Bill Johnson speaks of 'seeking God' in various ways (chapter 6):

- resting in the Lord (Psalm 37:7)
He suggest that as well as meaning, be still in the Lord, it can also mean 'take a leisure walk'. That is what I do as part of my devotions each day. He links this to the thought of how Adam was with God in the Garden of Eden. Thus any obstacle is overcome - all is provided for in salvation. And this I think is strongly present in my spirituality. He gives the example of Mary and Martha: 'To say that we need Marys and Marthas is to miss the point entirely... Mary wasn't a non-worker. Rather she was beginning to be like her master, who only did what He saw the Father do.

- then he speaks of 'waiting patiently for the Lord. We tend to define patience as a sort of passivity. But in the Bible the Hebrew word is used of waiting 4 times, but of 'writhing in pain, as in childbirth', or 'whirling in the air in dance', 49 times. Now I probably need to do work on the Hebrew, as definitions are tricky. But there is at least food for thought here. There is an intensity about such waiting.

- finally he notes that in Psalm 37:9, waiting means 'to lie in wait', as in setting up an ambush. There is thus a sense of looking eagerly for him. This is something I am not so good at. I need to learn from the woman who reached out to touch Jesus' hem (Matthew 9.21).

And with the thought that perhaps that is exactly what I decided to do by coming on retreat, I have a sense that perhaps in this too God is at work in me before I knew it (which of course he is.)


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